In an alternate universe, I’m an amazing singer with perfect pitch. I perform as a backup vocalist with big name acts from the 80s (Elvis Costello, James Taylor, Peter Gabriel, etc.) and this has allowed me to travel the world in style—experiencing adoring crowds and first-class hotels with anonymity. (Nobody recognizes a backup singer when they’re out on the street!) I am paid extremely well for this work and I use my extra money to buy a beach house with an in-ground lap pool overlooking the ocean.
Scour the news for an entirely uninteresting story. Consider how it connects to your life. Write about that.
I took this week off work and was planning to do fun “stay-cation” activities, but it’s pouring (again).
Therefore, the “entirely uninteresting” news story I chose to read was weather-related. It was about how two young quarterbacks deal with practicing in the rain at the New England Patriots training camp. Spoiler alert: they are both up for the challenge!
It connects to my life in that I could probably get up off the couch and do some yoga or something, given that Zappe and Jones are out there flinging wet footballs.
I was never one to spend time watching cat videos online. I knew people absolutely loved them and spent hours watching them, but I just scrolled right past. If someone sent one to me, I liked it, but was never tempted to re-share. I tended to focus on news, celebrities, and schadenfreude.
But I’m starting to understand why millions of people will watch a baby panda sneeze, a cat with an inner voice, or a cute snail enjoying a shower. A cute snail? The clips make you smile, or even laugh. And sometimes, they make you think of a friend or family member who might enjoy them.
When my friend Carla was dying in a faraway state, she didn’t communicate much, but occasionally she’d send an animal video. It was usually a baby giraffe, because she knew I liked giraffes. It was so moving to know she was thinking of me at that time.
So, I get it now. Animal videos make you smile, laugh, think about friends, distract from the news. They’re awesome.
Now please enjoy these ducks getting flower hats put on their tiny heads.
Some drivers don’t understand how intersections work. If traffic is so backed up that you’re going to have to idle in a crosswalk on the other side, don’t go. Wait until there’s enough room for your whole car, before heading across.
Last week I saw a blind student with a cane encounter a car blocking the entire width of a crosswalk in Boston.
Here are 10 things I know to be absolutely certain: 1. The universe exists. I am writing this, so I know that something exists. I can also see, hear, smell, taste, and touch things, which tells me that there is a physical world outside of my mind. 2. I exist. I am the one who is writing this, and I am experiencing the world through my senses. I am also capable of thought, feeling, and choice. 3. Change is the only constant. Nothing stays the same forever. The universe is constantly evolving, and so are we. 4. There is no such thing as absolute certainty. We can never be 100% sure of anything. However, we can still have a high degree of certainty about some things, based on our knowledge and experience. 5. The future is not predetermined. We have the freedom to make choices that shape our own future. However, our choices are also limited by the circumstances we find ourselves in. 6. There is good and evil in the world. We all have the capacity for both good and evil. The choices we make determine which side we will ultimately align ourselves with. 7. Love is real. Love is a powerful emotion that can bring us great joy and happiness. It can also be a source of great pain and suffering. 8. Death is inevitable. Everyone dies eventually. However, death does not have to be the end. Our souls may continue to exist in some form after our bodies die. 9. There is something more to life than this. The universe is a vast and mysterious place. There is much that we do not understand about it. However, I believe that there is something more to life than what we can see and touch. 10. We are all connected. We are all part of a larger whole. We are all connected to each other and to the universe.
Your ability to say “no” gets better with age. Pleasing people (parents, teachers, bosses) seems so important when you’re young, especially to oldest daughters. Being “nice” is paramount, and nice people don’t say no. The older I get, the more free I feel to decline that invitation to travel with someone who irks me, join a potentially contentious or time-consuming church committee, or even take on a work assignment that’s outside my job descripton. I’d rather be kind than nice, if you know what I mean.
According to Wikipedia, AARP (formerly called the American Association of Retired Persons) is an “interest group” in the United States focusing on issues affecting those over the age of fifty. It seems that every single American gets an AARP promotional mailing on or near their 50th birthday. It’s like a rite of passage. You get it, you open it, you groan (why are they ruining your birthday?) and you toss it as quickly as possible. But they do NOT relent. They keep sending you mail every six months or so.
Well, sometime between 57 and 58, I gave in. One of the mailings mentioned car rental discounts and I needed to rent a car, so I joined. The offer was $45 for a 5-year membership for me and my husband. (Later I got $8 back for paying with my Bank of America card.) Immediately upon joining, I saved $400 on a weeklong car rental. Why did I resist this for so long? (Because it’s for old people – duh!)
My husband has not yet accepted his membership. (He doesn’t want them to have his e-mail.) A friend asked if it was possible to access the discounts without actually saying the word “senior.” Another said they might join when they hit 60. Granted AARP does send a LOT of emails, but I’ve come to realize that joining 38 million other Americans as an AARP member is a way of accepting that I’m not alone and I’m not special. I can benefit from basic health, wellness, finance, and travel trips just like everybody else. (No, I did not realize that I should be getting 25 grams of protein per meal, including breakfast. And yes, I would like to see a list of the quaintest small towns in New England. Thank you!)
One of the things I was recently reminded of by an expert in AARP’s free, interactive “Staying Sharp” app is that you can cultivate positive emotions – like awe. Joining AARP can feel like giving up on your younger self, but there’s beauty in accepting the inevitability of aging. You’re just like everybody else. You’re basic – and you’re beautiful.
Describe a decision you made in the past that helped you learn or grow.
In college, I made the decision to study abroad for the fall semester of my junior year. I can’t remember exactly when or how I decided to go to Italy, but I think it was because my small New England liberal arts college strongly encouraged everyone to GO AWAY and the easiest choice was to just go to their campus in Rome. This was fall of 1985 and there were no cell phones or laptops. We were like…really…ABROAD. Travelers checks, passports, guidebooks and one landline for the entire floor. It wasn’t always easy. I had bad allergies from some kind of pollen there and had to take a lot of antihistamines. And the first time I brought my clothes to a lavanderia, they put the bag in the dryer with my clothes and the plastic lining melted and ruined every single thing I brought.
But I’m so glad I went. It was a major growth experience for me. I learned that I actually could speak, even think and dream, in a foreign language. I developed my love of art and museums. And most of all, I gained confidence and a sense adventure. There’s nothing quite like the excitement of cities, foreign cities, explored with other young friends and travelers. Everything and anything seemed possible then.
Semester abroad pals and me (far left) in a Paris hotel in the fall of 1985
Two more weeks until Election Day. I can’t believe it’s been FOUR years since Pantsuit Nation got the crushing news that America is way WAY more racist and misogynistic than we thought. (It turns out Black people were already well aware of this and were not terribly surprised that the pussy-grabbing reality TV star won, but it sure was a massive shock to the rest of us.)
So, here we are, after 7 months of COVID-19 lockdown with 220,000+ dead and no end in sight. We all want Trump to lose by a HUGE margin, so that he won’t be able to dispute the results and start a Civil War. We need the Senate too, especially now that the Supreme Court will be so conservative. (Amy Coney Barrett terrifies me even more than Brett “I like beer” Kavanaugh, because I think she’s smart and her worldview was formed in some sort of extreme Catholic sect.)
I’ve already voted, sent postcards to swing state voters, annoyed my social media friends with numerous political posts, and made sure my kids and their friends got registered to vote. I’ve taken action on local legislation that will hopefully protect my state if Roe v Wade gets overturned. I even went to Town Meeting to vote for a Climate Action Resolution. It really feels like there’s nothing left to do but wait and worry.
Sometimes I think it helps to imagine the worst, so you can let it go—like writing a letter that you’ll never send. (Picture the worst.) OK, that just can’t happen.
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