Personal Musings

The Devil’s in the Details

~ MaryG ~ 6 Comments
Daily writing prompt
What details of your life could you pay more attention to?
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I think I’m past the age of worrying too much about the details. For years, I felt like I had to be on top of all the details of everybody’s lives. From toddler meals to travel basketball to college applications — the family schedule was a big deal. If you messed up, someone ate something that they were allergic to, or an important event was missed, or someone got left waiting outside in the cold.

One good thing about being an empty nester is that your time is bascially your own, outside of work.

Now, I’m more about the big picture. The “details” I care about are the optional ones that make life more meaningful like catching up with a friend, seeing a performance, talking with my book group, or traveling someplace with my husband.

I’ve had two friends (my age) recently tell me that they prefer spontaneous, rather than planned, get togethers. They don’t like putting things on the calendar way ahead and then having to cancel or reschedule because someone is sick or whatever. I can see their point. Although I’m still basically a planner, I will call or text people last-minute if I’m nearby.

They say the “devil is in the details,” so screw the details. Just do what you want, with people you like, whenever you can.

Sadly, this advice does not apply to young parents. You have to put your kids first for at least 18 years, but you’ll be shocked at how fast that goes by.

Get outside

~ MaryG ~ 2 Comments

What’s your #1 priority tomorrow?

Accuweather predicts “patchy fog in the morning; otherwise, mostly sunny and very warm; a gorgeous day to be outside.” So I will be doing as my weather app suggests, and prioritizing a long walk or bike ride tomorrow.

This is when it’s great to work remotely. I used to always go to Boston on Tuesdays. Now I can take my commuter time and use it for whatever I want.

After all the rain we had in September, I’m hoping for a beautiful October.

Here’s what the last day of September looked like around here. The last few blooms of the season.

Acton Arboretum, 9/30/23

When hard work pays off

~ MaryG ~ 2 Comments

In what ways does hard work make you feel fulfilled?

I worked as a grantwriter for a wonderful arts school for many years. It was not a full-time gig. I was a contractor/consultant. We needed to raise $12 million for a new theater building. Financing for the entire $20+ million project was dependent on us raising our share. The school badly needed this new theater building, which also would house several state-of-the-art music and dance studios. The old theater was more than fifty years old and had no orchestra pit or air conditioning.

It was 2008 and the economy was terrible—the Great Recession. We were having a difficult time getting that capital campaign going. I worked very hard to bring in a large state grant to get us started. When we finally got the grant, it was exhilarating. I remember we jumped around and screamed when we got the good news.

Here I am with two dear colleagues holding the big celebratory check. That was a great day and definitely one of my most fulfilling moments at work.

The counselors got it right

~ MaryG ~ 2 Comments

What’s the trait you value most about yourself?

I went to summer day camp with a neighborhood friend when we were about 10. On the last day, the counselors gave each child a superlative award: “MOST (something)”

My friend Carolyn, who I knew adults found challenging but was very creative, got “Most INQUISITIVE.” I remember thinking: is that their way of saying “biggest pain in the neck?”

I got “Most DEPENDABLE.” Huh, was that their way of saying I was good, but boring?

In any case, I am dependable and always have been. I do what I say I’ll do. The trick is to get me to agree to do it. I’m also pretty good at saying no.

Our neighborhood dressed up as the Red Sox for Halloween in 1975 . Carolyn & I are top left. I was Luis Tiant. She was whichever player wore his hat down over his eyes a lot. Maybe Butch Hobson? Our shirts said “Wait Til Next Year.” We waited 29 more years til they won the World Series.

Street photographer

~ MaryG ~ 9 Comments

List three jobs you’d consider pursuing if money didn’t matter.

Three jobs that sound fun to me are fragrance tester, ice cream taster, and street photographer.

Perhaps I’ll pursue one of these when I retire, although I bet they want people with younger senses for the first two.

So maybe I’ll look into street photography. I recently attended a talk by Izzy Rodriguez, a Providence street photographer and it made me remember how I had liked it once.

I took a photography class for fun in the late 80s at the School of the Museum of Fine Arts. I enjoyed going out on the streets of Boston with my camera. It was a 35mm Canon. I developed and printed the film in class. Here are some photos that I took. These people were all strangers to me, except the last one is my sister.

This one is my favorite. The girls were just pretending to talk on the phones – playing grownup.
Boston’s famous “Make Way for Ducklings” ducks
My sister

La Dolce Vita

~ MaryG ~ 10 Comments
Daily writing prompt
What aspects of your cultural heritage are you most proud of or interested in?
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I’m half Italian. My father’s father emigrated from Italy, through Ellis Island, in 1905. He was 15 years old and arrived with $12. His occupation was listed as “peasant.” He worked on farms, taking care of boilers that heat the greenhouses. He became a US citizen in 1913 and was a successful farmer himself, although the state twice took his land by eminent domain to build highways. Sadly, he died young from what should have been a routine surgery, when my father was just six years old.

My grandmother carried on as best she could, but eventually lost the farm when all the young men went to fight in World War II (nobody was left to work on the farm). After that, she had factory jobs, but was able to raise her four children successfully, with two of them joining the Air Force, including my father who was then able to go to UMass Amherst on the GI Bill. He studied electrical engineering and eventually co-founded his own company with another engineer. They sold it in 1983 and I was able to go to a fancy private college on the proceeds, without incurring any debt at all.

So we went from “peasant” to “liberal arts major” in just two generations. I took all sorts of useless classes in college—poetry, drawing, art history, concert choir, etc. It was great. In my defense, I did take both economics and calculus my first semester, but dropped calculus because I didn’t think I could pass it and also be in the musical. Priorities, people.

One of my many fun classes was Italian. I took three semesters, one of them in Rome. What a beautiful language. I’m not much of a cook, so I’d have to say that the aspects of Italian culture I’m most interested in are the language, art history, and music. And by music, I mean opera, not that cheesy Italian pop.

My hardworking grandfather Giovanni in one of his greenhouses

The Three C’s

~ MaryG ~ 4 Comments

What brands do you associate with?

I’m a New Englander, so definitely LL Bean. Their return policy is amazing. They’ll take anything back, forever. I also like Land’s End and Eddie Bauer.

For cars, I’ve driven Hondas for years now. I really love my CRV.

What other brands matter – besides clothes and cars?

Oh yeah. Coffee. As previously mentioned, I’m Boston-centric, so Dunkin not Starbucks.

Two colors most people would never wear together are pink and orange, but somehow it works for Dunkin.

Listening

~ MaryG ~ 7 Comments
Daily writing prompt
What could you do more of?
View all responses

I’m trying to be a better listener. My friend Carla who passed away last year was an attentive, thoughtful listener. She really gave you her full attention. I’d like to be more like her in that way.

So, I’ll keep this short and make a point to read other people’s responses to this prompt. I’m all ears.

Photo by Magda Ehlers on Pexels.com

Look for the Glimmers

~ MaryG ~ 6 Comments

What’s the best piece of advice you’ve ever received?

The best piece of advice I ever received was probably something about not worrying too much, because most of the things you worry about don’t actually happen. My father said that my grandmother’s saying was “Don’t Borrow Trouble,” which meant: don’t concern yourself with problems that aren’t directly facing you.

I appreciate that advice, but I feel like there are so many very real things to worry about in 2023, it’s a bit like telling people to bury their heads in the sand. Women in about a third of the United States have lost their bodily autonomy, a convicted rapist who led an insurrection is the leading Republican presidential candidate, the US government is about to shutdown because of that rapist’s supporters, and we’ve had at least 470 mass shootings so far this year.

So yeah, you should worry.

But don’t become hopeless. My minister says to “look for the glimmers.” Glimmers are those little moments that give you peace and hope.

My glimmer for today is that some women in my church organize our activism and make it SO EASY for me to help! All I have to do is pay for the stamps, and they hand me a neatly organized bundle of postcards, stamps, address labels, and a script. During the week, in my spare time, I write out the postcards.

This week we’re writing to Virginians.

Make some Plans

~ MaryG ~ 7 Comments

What things give you energy?

I tend to suffer from a bit of inertia. I really love to sit on my couch – in my favorite spot – and drink coffee and read or write things on my phone or computer.

Now that my kids are grown and my job is mostly remote, nothing really forces me to get dressed and get out. Sometimes I throw on clothes and makeup five minutes (or less) before my first Zoom meeting of the day.

Eventually I always get dressed and go for a walk, swim, or bike ride. Exercise give me energy. I also like having plans with people I like, to do things I like. For example, last week I took Wednesday off to go see the big Edward Hopper exhibit in Gloucester, MA. It was a beautiful day and I went with my parents. We had fun and it was energizing to be with my dear mom and dad and also to talk about the art we saw.

No photos were allowed in the Hopper exhibit, but you were allowed to take pics in other parts of the museum.

Gloucester fishermen, 1907
Gloucester fishermen, 2015, by Jim Hooper

And guess what? It turns out Edward Hopper’s wife, Josephine Nivison Hopper, was a painter herself and was almost entirely responsible for his tremendous success, but got no credit at all during her lifetime! Ain’t that always the way? I’m ready for a Hollywood biopic about their fascinating lives, love, and art. I hope that writers’ strike ends soon.