I try to see as much work by living artists as I can (although I like many dead ones too).
I’m a member of The Institute of Contemporary Art Boston, which is where I worked when I first got out of college. Back then, they had a small building in the Back Bay. Now they’re in a big new building out on the waterfront.
Typically I like painting and photography, but I’ve recently seen some wonderful sculpture, ceramics, and mixed-media work that blew me away. One artist in particular, Rose B. Simpson, had a great show at The ICA in 2022. The sculptures were displayed at about eye level and were so beautiful and powerful.
Stunning mother and child by Rose B. Simpson Close-up of the faces
I sing in a choir, which I enjoy, but I wouldn’t say that’s a “hobby.” I don’t think reading or exercising are exactly hobbies either.
Google’s top definition of hobby: an activity done regularly in one’s leisure time for pleasure
I think doing puzzles is an actual hobby. A lot of people got into puzzles during the pandemic lockdown. We were in the habit of doing one 1000-piece puzzle per year, around the holidays, which we typically received in the mail as a gift from my sister-in-law. During the lockdown, we did additional puzzles, but I decided I really only like doing a Christmas puzzle. I’m a once-a-year puzzle hobbyist.
Our 2022 Christmas Puzzle It was pretty hard, but fun, because it brought back memories of the film, like “You’ll shoot your eye out!” and the Leg Lamp.
What would you do if you lost all your possessions?
If I lost all possessions, I assume it would be in a tragic situation like a fire or flood. Most people in those situations, when you see them interviewed on TV, say they’re going to be OK, if they and their families are unhurt. They say something like, “things are just things, people cannot be replaced.”
I hope I’d be like them — filled with grace.
Me and my people that cannot be replaced, Thanksgiving 2016
What’s a topic or issue about which you’ve changed your mind?
I recently read a good article in The Atlantic about the “red pill” of humility and how it may benefit us and make us happier.
Here’s how the author defines humility:
Humility—modesty about one’s own importance or expertise—can refer to an act (for example, giving up a good seat for another), a condition (living in an unflashy way), or a trait (avoiding the assumption that you are always right). It can be practiced intellectually—a concept called “epistemic humility,” seen in discussions of, for example, religion or politics—and socially, in our relationships with others, which can involve refraining from behaviors such as boasting, for instance.
The author says there’s research showing that left to their own devices, people tend to overestimate their strengths and underestimate their weaknesses. (Hey, didn’t we just spend like 10 years talking about the opposite scenario: imposter syndrome?)
Anyway, he goes into great detail about the many health, wellness, leadership and even romantic benefits of increased humility.
He gives some good ideas about how to increase humility, like taking in more awe-inspiring views of the natural world.
He also gives some questionable advice, like asking your friends to call you out on any puffery you post on social media. (Don’t think I have a friend close enough to assign that awkward task!)
I think I might at least try a couple of his good ideas, because I really can’t think of a significant topic or issue I’ve changed my mind about in the last decade. And that seems like a red flag that I could use a red pill or two on occasion.
I went to a college with a very high percentage of students who graduated from prestigious New England prep schools. Most had been boarders, rather than day students. In fact, my college was named the #1 “most preppy” college in the country in the wildly bestselling Official Preppy Handbook, which came out in 1980.
I was from an upper middle-class suburban family and attended a competitive public high school. As a college freshman, I wore my Reagan-era preppy clothes from high school, including colorful sweaters and matching Bermuda bags.
This is a Bermuda bag. The cloth cover buttoned on and you could change it to match your outfit.
I thought I was preppy, but the real prepsters made me feel out of place. My freshman roommate was literally nicknamed Muffy. She was from the Philadelphia Main Line and attended a tiny, prestigious all-girls boarding school. She graduated high school in an expensive white dress, rather than a cap & gown. During our first Thanksgiving break, she went home to attend her debutante ball (aka “coming out” party) in Philly, for which multiple tuxedoed escorts were engaged. It was some real Gilded Age shit. One night she informed me that she had just met her first Jewish person!
In retrospect, the differences between me and the boarding school grads were minuscule. If I felt slightly out of place, I can only imagine how the one and only black student in our dorm must have felt.
“Where did you prep?” was an actual question that people asked at my college.
Your life without a computer: what does it look like?
My life without a computer looks like a vacation. I can go a full week without my laptop. I can do almost everything I need to do (including responding to this prompt) on my phone – except work. And I can even do some work on my phone, including e-mail & calendar, accessing our CRM system, and Workday (our HR system). There’s an app for just about everything now.
However, my life without a phone would be very different.
And by “phone,” I mean a tiny powerful smartphone that reportedly could be used to guide more than 120 million Apollo-era spacecraft to the moon — all at the same time.
I have studied French, Italian and a bit of Spanish, but never became truly fluent in any of them. It would be great to speak a second language really well.
I’m currently using the Mango app (on my phone), which is free with your public library card, to study French. I recommend it. It’s easy to use and way less annoying than DuoLingo!
I think I’m past the age of worrying too much about the details. For years, I felt like I had to be on top of all the details of everybody’s lives. From toddler meals to travel basketball to college applications — the family schedule was a big deal. If you messed up, someone ate something that they were allergic to, or an important event was missed, or someone got left waiting outside in the cold.
One good thing about being an empty nester is that your time is bascially your own, outside of work.
Now, I’m more about the big picture. The “details” I care about are the optional ones that make life more meaningful like catching up with a friend, seeing a performance, talking with my book group, or traveling someplace with my husband.
I’ve had two friends (my age) recently tell me that they prefer spontaneous, rather than planned, get togethers. They don’t like putting things on the calendar way ahead and then having to cancel or reschedule because someone is sick or whatever. I can see their point. Although I’m still basically a planner, I will call or text people last-minute if I’m nearby.
They say the “devil is in the details,” so screw the details. Just do what you want, with people you like, whenever you can.
Sadly, this advice does not apply to young parents. You have to put your kids first for at least 18 years, but you’ll be shocked at how fast that goes by.
Accuweather predicts “patchy fog in the morning; otherwise, mostly sunny and very warm; a gorgeous day to be outside.” So I will be doing as my weather app suggests, and prioritizing a long walk or bike ride tomorrow.
This is when it’s great to work remotely. I used to always go to Boston on Tuesdays. Now I can take my commuter time and use it for whatever I want.
After all the rain we had in September, I’m hoping for a beautiful October.
Here’s what the last day of September looked like around here. The last few blooms of the season.
In what ways does hard work make you feel fulfilled?
I worked as a grantwriter for a wonderful arts school for many years. It was not a full-time gig. I was a contractor/consultant. We needed to raise $12 million for a new theater building. Financing for the entire $20+ million project was dependent on us raising our share. The school badly needed this new theater building, which also would house several state-of-the-art music and dance studios. The old theater was more than fifty years old and had no orchestra pit or air conditioning.
It was 2008 and the economy was terrible—the Great Recession. We were having a difficult time getting that capital campaign going. I worked very hard to bring in a large state grant to get us started. When we finally got the grant, it was exhilarating. I remember we jumped around and screamed when we got the good news.
Here I am with two dear colleagues holding the big celebratory check. That was a great day and definitely one of my most fulfilling moments at work.
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