Personal Musings

Got what I deserved (finally)

~ MaryG ~ Leave a comment
Daily writing prompt
Have you ever unintentionally broken the law?
View all responses

In the distant past, I used my white privilege to break the law intentionally many times with no consequences. I’ll chalk that up to youth and the too-high age requirement of 21+ for American nightclubs. (It really should be 18.)

I have been pulled over by the police a few times for doing stuff unintentionally. The worst was when I nearly ran over an older woman with a cane in a crosswalk. I just didn’t see her. I was pregnant and rushing to an appointment with my obstetrician. Thank God I saw her at the last moment and swerved.

I got pulled over immediately by a Boston cop on a motorcycle, as I should have been. I got a citation for “failure to yield to a pedestrian.” I did, of course, try to get out of it. I played the pregnant card, the woman card, the dumb card…all the cards. I don’t remember if I cried, but I might have. The cop did the right thing and gave me the ticket anyway. That one moving violation jacked up my car insurance premiums for years. I deserved it.

Related post: My life of crime

GenX Mom Not Calm

~ MaryG ~ 14 Comments

If there was a biography about you, what would the title be?

According to my son the subtitle of this blog—GenX Mom Keeps Calm & Carries On—is not accurate. According to him, I am not calm or “chill.” He says his father’s the calm one.

I started this blog shortly after I turned 50, in the fall of 2015. The name seemed about right at the time. I wrote six posts about regular mom/life stuff in 2015-16. Then all hell broke loose. The pussy-grabbing star of “Celebrity Apprentice” won the presidential election over a highly-qualified former Secretary of State and US Senator, even though she got 2,864,974 more votes than he did. Hillary Clinton beat Donald Trump in the popular vote by more than the population of the City of Chicago, which has 2.66 million people. I’ve been to Chicago. It’s huge. It’s a huge city. Hillary Clinton beat Trump by more than a Chicago. Think about it.

The big city of Chicago, 2006

Clearly I was traumatized by the election of Donald J. Trump and all that followed, including learning that I had Trump supporters among my nearest and dearest.

Blogging suddenly seemed pointless. I didn’t even think about blogging regularly again until Trump was safely out of DC and Biden was sworn in.

That whole time period after the 2020 election, when the networks took forever to declare Biden the winner and Trump kept saying the election was rigged and would not concede, was SO F***ED UP. Those crazy images of “Stop the Steal” rallies in Arizona and endless, needless recounts in Georgia with Trump caught on tape telling officials to “find him 11,780 more votes” like a mafia boss. WTF. We are the United States of America. This doesn’t happen here.

And then…and THEN…two weeks before Biden’s inauguration a fucking RIOT inside the United States Capitol while Congress convened to certify Joe Biden’s electoral win—a perfunctory, procedural, ceremonial event that never caused a stir before in my entire life. And now we’ve got Senators hiding under benches and Vice Presidents being whisked away by the secret service?!?

OK, so clearly I’m not calm anymore. I may never have been. It’s sad that I’ve been like this for so much of my son’s life. He was just 15 when Trump won, and now he’s a senior in college.

I probably won’t change the name of my blog (because I’m not sure how to do it and I’d probably end up deleting the whole thing by accident), but I’ll try to find a more accurate title for my imaginary forthcoming biography. Suggestions welcomed.

Here are a few more pictures of my one and only trip to Chicago. I went with high school friends not long after we reunited for our 20th reunion. We were 40. We liked it!

Grandparents

~ MaryG ~ 3 Comments
Daily writing prompt
What were your parents doing at your age?
View all responses

When my parents were my age, they were new grandparents to my daughter. They only have two grandchildren and she was their first. They were thrilled to have a granddaughter and helped me out a lot. My mother would visit and babysit at least once a week. I was lucky that they lived within an hours drive.

Outside of being grandparents, they were big travelers. They went on many trips to countries around the world including China, Japan, Russia and all over Europe. I have some beautiful gifts from places they traveled to.

All families have issues (mine included), but I know I’ve been extremely privileged to have two responsible, caring parents who are still alive and well and married to each other! How many GenXers can say that? I know I got really lucky in the parent department.

They’ll be celebrating their 85th and 90th birthdays this summer, as well as their 62nd wedding anniversary.

Here we are on the beach in Florida five years ago. I’m looking forward to visiting them in Florida next week. It’ll be my first trip down to see them in their “snowbird” locale since the pandemic. I feel so lucky that I get another chance to make this trip.

Protest photos: then & now

~ MaryG ~ 13 Comments
Daily writing prompt
If you had the power to change one law, what would it be and why?
View all responses

As a proud feminist and longtime supporter of abortion rights, I’m still struggling to understand what the fuck happened in the United States on November 8, 2016. The last seven years have been extremely tough to watch. And there’s no end in sight. Unbelievably, both Trump and Trumpism are alive and well. All three of his Supreme Court appointees are younger than me (actually Brett Kavanaugh and I are the same age). I’ll probably outlive Trump, but not his legacy. In many ways, it’s just really depressing. All these years of protesting and donating and voting, and we’ve gone backwards.

Here are some black and white photos I took at a Pro-Choice Rally in Washington DC in 1989. I used my 35mm Canon camera.

Here are some photos from the Women’s March on Washington on January 21, 2017—the day after Trump’s inauguration. It was the largest single-day protest in US history.

My daughter and me in pussy hats knitted by my sister

The Forced Birth Movement is terrifying and misogynist. Abortion is essential healthcare. Healthcare is a human right. Federal law should protect that right.

Hi Barbie

~ MaryG ~ 13 Comments
Daily writing prompt
Write about your dream home.
View all responses

One of the best things about the Barbie movie was that incredible set—Barbie’s Dreamhouse come to life. I loved it! Imagine living in a matriarchal society in your own pink mini-palace—with all your friends nearby—under permanently sunny skies? The only thing I would add is a larger pool. I’d want to be able to swim laps at my dream house.

I’m with Ryan Gosling and everyone else who “could not be more disappointed” that Greta Gerwig and Margot Robbie didn’t get Oscar nominations for directing and acting. I’m counting on Barbie pulling off an upset win for Best Picture. I want to see Greta up there getting the last award of the night.

Free gift article from The Atlantic:

Why the Oscars Overlooked Greta Gerwig

Related post: Wrong question

Insight Meditation

~ MaryG ~ 5 Comments
Daily writing prompt
You get some great, amazingly fantastic news. What’s the first thing you do?
View all responses

This prompt reminds me of a class I took in my twenties. I was a couple of years into the working world, living in Boston, and had that feeling like “what’s next?” or “is this all there is?” I was trying to force myself to plan my next move—perhaps moving to a different city would make things interesting? The class was called “Insight Meditation” and the teacher’s name was Narayan.

Narayan was great. She taught us the basics of mindfulness meditation from the Buddhist tradition. We focused on our breath. When thoughts arose, we tried to observe them without judgement. Inner peace and living in the present moment were the goals. Eventually, I realized that trying to force a decision about my next move was not helpful. Although I did not keep up a daily meditation practice, I still think of Narayan’s wisdom.

Be here now.

One day in class Narayan said she had received some fantastic news and was having trouble not thinking about it. She said she was too “blissed out” about it. Her point was that any type of conditional joy (joy that depends on an outside factor – like winning the lottery) is inevitably going to change. She thought that getting too happy/excited about any external circumstance could lead to even lower lows. Deep despair and overwhelming joy are related. Staying on an even keel is better. A goal of insight meditation is to develop of lasting sense of contentment and peace from sources within you.

And guess what? I googled Narayan and she’s still teaching at the Cambridge Insight Meditation Center and other organizations. She’s written a book and many of her “Dharma Talks” are online. It’s wild to find her again after all these years. I will definitely be engaging with her wisdom in this new phase of my life. I’m going to order her book today. Maybe check her out, if Buddhism or meditation is of interest to you.

Related post:

Pay attention to the journey

Drawing

~ MaryG ~ 16 Comments
Daily writing prompt
Are there any activities or hobbies you’ve outgrown or lost interest in over time?
View all responses

For many years I loved to draw and sketch. I did some painting as well. I worked with pencil, charcoal, pastels, and pen & ink. When I painted, I used acrylics. I took many art classes as a teen and young adult in school and at local museums. I remember drawing nude models as early as middle school and we took it very seriously (no giggling).

I think I got discouraged when I took a higher level studio art class as a sophomore in college and got a C+. Up until then, I always got great grades in studio art. The professor seemed to want us to make the leap from realism to conceptual stuff. I guess I wasn’t good at that.

I took a photography class after college, but eventually started to put more energy into music and singing. The thing about music (singing anyway) is that it doesn’t take up much space in your apartment or on your walls. You can sing anywhere. No supplies needed. But sometimes I do miss drawing. I loved it for many years.

I have this one large pencil drawing of my favorite animal hanging in the living room. I did it in a high school art class. Everything else is in the attic.
OK WordPress, you got me to go in the attic. These are two “head studies” in pencil and charcoal that I did in college.
A male nude in charcoal
A still life in pencil
A more abstract pencil drawing
A female nude in charcoal (perspective is hard)

Related posts:

Street photographer

Giraffes

Fawn in Snow

Two Great Tastes that Taste Great Together

~ MaryG ~ 7 Comments

What’s your favorite candy?

As I’ve mentioned, I’m a fan of fancy artisanal and European chocolates, but in terms of widely-available American candy, there’s one clear winner and it’s Reese’s. The fact that the two flavors – milk chocolate and peanut butter – taste great together cannot be denied.

I don’t know which Don Draper/Madison Avenue ad agency came up with the original commercials, but they were genius.

1979 Reese’s TV commercial

I have memories of dipping chocolate bars into open jars of Skippy or Jif, just like in the ads. I also remember when Friendly’s came out with their jumbo peanut butter cup sundaes, which had both hot fudge and peanut butter sauce. They were amazing. Freshman year of college, my late friend Carla and I loved nothing better than smoking a joint, then sharing one of those babies at our neighborhood Friendly’s. They definitely contributed to my freshman 15. (Somehow Carla never gained an ounce.)

The Friendly’s Peanut Butter Cup Sundae

Judging from the trick-or-treaters I got this past Halloween, Reese’s have not lost their appeal. They were gone first from my offerings – and I had extras. Again and again, they were chosen over KitKats, Snickers, plain Hershey bars, and White Chocolate with Oreo (Cookies n’ Creme) bars.

Thank goodness my tree nut allergy does not include peanuts, which are technically legumes.

Long live the Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup.

Related posts:

The underrated Box of Chocolates

Pay attention to the journey

Box of Wine

~ MaryG ~ 9 Comments
Daily writing prompt
Do you need a break? From what?
View all responses

It’s not really a “break,” but one thing I’d like to do is reduce the amount of stuff I throw out or toss into the recycling bin. I feel guilty whenever I get a lunch to go from Panera because of all the packaging waste it creates. I’ve been trying to stay and eat the food in the restaurant more often. (Our Panera is pleasant and sunny.) I rarely buy cups of coffee from Dunkin these days, but I still get the breakfast sandwiches – at least there’s no plastic in the packaging.

Wine bottles are something I was constantly buying and tossing in the bin. One option would be to drink less wine (probably not going to happen). A second option was to get over the stigma and try a box of wine. So, I purchased my first box of wine early last week. It’s “Black Box Tart & Tangy Sauvignon Blanc.” The box contains the equivalent of 4 bottles of wine (3 liters). It cost about $20 and it’s not bad. It’s not great, but it’s decent. Also, it stays fresh in the box, so I think I may be drinking less wine because I’m not finishing it off quickly before it goes bad. I still have a lot of wine left in my first box.

So, I guess I’m taking a break from buying bottles of wine. I’m the kind of person who drinks wine from a box now. I’m open to any suggestions of good boxed white wines.

The boxed wine occupies some premium shelf space in the fridge, but you can slide it around pretty easily.

Fun post from another blogger about the Aussie history behind my box of wine:

Just a tipple

The Before Times

~ MaryG ~ 7 Comments

The most important invention in your lifetime is…

The internet. It was like that movie title: everything, everywhere, all at once. It really changed everything.

I honestly can’t remember how we did certain things before the internet. Obviously we did them, but how?

Here are some recollections of how we did some things in the before times:

Airline tickets – no idea

Restaurant reservations – called the restaurant

Job opportunities – read the classifieds in the back of the newspaper

Real estate – dealt with human realtors

Banking – went to physical banks, which was always a challenge because of their limited hours; everyone ran to the bank at lunch (or left work early) on payday

Spelling and writing – used a physical dictionary and thesaurus, which came in various sizes. Most homes had at least one huge, heavy dictionary with all the words.

News – watched the nightly network news and read newspapers, which got ink on your fingers

Travel planning – went to the library or bookstore travel section

Shopping – wandered around the mall

Dating – met people at school, work or through friends

Concerts tickets – can’t really remember, but have a vague recollection of calling Ticketmaster – over and over – trying to get through

Learning anything new – got books at the library or took a class

Popular culture (trends, celebrities, fashion) – read magazines; magazines were huge

I was always very happy to receive my monthly Seventeen magazine, especially if Phoebe Cates was on the cover.