I’m starting to hear more stories of individual lives affected by the chaos in DC: my son’s friend (a 2024 college graduate) is losing his job at the local Air Force Base because he is a “probationary employee” (employed less than a year); my cousin’s brilliant daughter is a diplomat on maternity leave from a State Department post abroad and has no idea what will happen with her job upon her return—a job for which she is uniquely well qualified and very highly trained; a friend of a friend’s disabled daughter is losing all of her special services and programs in Connecticut; and the mother of a trans 18-year old in my church is trying to source the medications he needs from pharmacies outside the US because Trump’s anti “child mutilation” order arbitrarily states that 19 is the age at which the order does not apply.
And, like millions of other Americans, we’ve seen our healthcare costs go up and retirement investments and overall net worth go down since January 20.
I feel as if we are basically powerless to do anything about what’s happening in Washington right now, but at least we can “bear witness”— and that’s what I’m witnessing right now.
What are you witnessing in your community? Do you know anyone who has lost their job as a direct result of Dear Leader & his chainsaw-wielding Robot Man?
Honestly, sometimes I think Republicans are just mean. Can you imagine treating a person sitting right in front of you as if they don’t even exist?
Chris of A New Life After Cancer reminded me that it’s International Women’s Day (IWD), which is not typically on our radar (or our calendars) in the US.
With the resurgence of full blown patriarchy on steroids here, it’s probably a good year to remember to mark IWD!
I’ll start with Boston Mayor Michelle Wu who did a great job defending our city in front of the bullies in Congress this week. She was forced to travel to DC to testify in front of hostile MAGA legislators just 7 weeks after giving birth and many found her calm, brave strength inspiring.
Boston Mayor Michelle Wu with 7-week old Mira in Washington DC on Ash Wednesday
Thank you Mayor Wu—a strong and fearless millennial.
Before I became a grandmother, I asked a couple of people to describe how it felt to have a grandchild. I wanted to know exactly how it felt, as compared to becoming a parent. Do you love the grandchild just as much as your own children? Or is it a little bit less…like a “once removed” sort of feeling? How did you feel during labor & delivery? Do you worry about the baby’s health and safety constantly, like you did with your own children, or are you able to leave the worrying to the parents? Would you throw yourself in front of a moving train (or jump into the shark tank at the aquarium) to save a grandchild? Did you love the grandchild immediately (like a parent does) or do they need to grow on you over time?
Inquiring minds wanted to know!
To be honest, I never got a good, straightforward, detailed answer. Everyone just said things like “it’s amazing.” Some said, “it’s even better than being a parent.” My own mother said it was “exciting.” (Gee mom, that’s all you got? Not much of a description!) My sister-in-law said she “just wanted to cry.”
So, I’m going to go ahead and answer my own questions for other inquiring minds:
Do you love your grandchild just as much as your own children?
Yes. And I felt love the minute I saw the detailed ultrasound pics, with a clear little head and hands. It was primal. I wanted to cry. And the feeling of holding my child’s child for the first time was like…experiencing the greatest gift the universe has to offer. There’s no emoji for it!
Or is it a little bit less…like a “once removed” sort of feeling?
No, it’s not a once removed feeling. It’s actually doubled, because you love their parent so much too. It’s like you love each of them individually and you also love & celebrate the parent/child “couple.” I like happy pictures of my daughter and granddaughter together almost as much as cute pics of the baby alone.
How did you feel during labor & delivery?
Extremely anxious! Not going to lie—it was not fun! It may be worse when it’s your own daughter in labor.
Do you worry about the baby’s health and safety constantly, like you did with your own children, or are you able to leave the worrying to the parents?
Fortunately my granddaughter was born healthy to two responsible parents, so I do not worry about her healthy and safety constantly. But I do worry. I worry about infectious diseases and environmental toxins. I also worry about car accidents.
Would you throw yourself in front of a moving train to save a grandchild, if you had to?
Yes
Do you love the grandchild immediately (like a parent does) or do they need to grow on you over time?
For me, it was immediate.
My granddaughter is just under six months old, so that’s my report for now!
Here’s a throwback photo that my parents included in a slideshow they made me for my 50th birthday. I’m assuming my mother felt something like I do now.
After seeing all of the Oscar-nominated films, I watched the broadcast with great interest last night—and lots of snacks. I tried to keep them healthy-ish (fig newtons, apple butter), but by the end of the night I was eating salted dark chocolate caramels.
Considering the state of our democracy, there was an eerie lack of political commentary. Is Hollywood actually afraid to directly criticize Dear Leader?? I thought Conan did a generally good job, but he only made one joke about Trump (saying that maybe Anora was popular because people liked seeing someone stand up to a powerful Russian). And only honorary GenXer Daryl Hannah (age 64) said anything at all about Ukraine. She came out with a “Slava Ukraine 🇺🇦” before she started reading her lines from the teleprompter.
I was not a huge fan of Anora, but I was glad to see an independent film do so well. I thought that GenXer Sean Baker’s plea to get people to go see movies in theaters again was good. He’s right that there’s a certain kind of magic in the communal, big screen experience. Plus, it helps keep those independent theaters open.
For me, the best parts of the night were the Wicked parts! The two stars looked amazing on the red carpet and their opening number was electrifying. It moved from Ariana Grande singing Somewhere Over the Rainbow in a ruby slippers-inspired gown to Cynthia Erivo singing something familiar from The Wiz (the hit 70s movie musical produced by Quincy Jones) to a live version of Defying Gravity that had every woman and gay man in the audience crying Broadway tears of joy. Long live musical theater!
Later, as part of a tribute to Quincy Jones, Queen Latifah did Ease on Down the Road from The Wiz (my favorite number from that show) with a big cast of dancers. You could see Colman Domingo, along with Cynthia and Ariana, dancing in the front row.
GenX, if you missed seeing The Wiz in the seventies, then you need to go back and at least watch that number with Diana Ross (as Dorothy) and Michael Jackson (as the scarecrow).
My favorite award of the night was when Paul Tazewell won Best Costume Design for Wicked. He proudly lifted up the fact that he was the first Black man to ever win this award and it was very moving.
Costume designer Paul Tazewell
Least favorite speeches: I thought that both of the white guys winning the major acting awards—Aidan Brody and Kieran Culkin—went on too long (shushing the music several times) and were self-indulgent. Culkin used the opportunity to pressure his wife into bearing another one of his children and Brody eventually got around to mentioning something important (antisemitism) but it took forever. Sit down guys. You’re both very wealthy actors. Have some self-awareness.
In contrast, I thought Zoe Saldaña’s speech was heartfelt and meaningful. A first-generation immigrant from the Dominican Republic, she dedicated the award to her late grandmother. Plus, she looked amazing.
There are very few women who could pull off this “bubble” dress look, but I thought Zoe Saldaña wore it beautifully.
I love my church, especially the choir, but it’s loaded with vegans and gluten-free eaters. This makes any kind of potluck or church luncheon complicated.
People will bend over backwards to accommodate these dietary preferences, but completely ignore my (and others, especially children’s) nut allergies, which can be life-threatening in certain circumstances.
There’s a difference between a food preference and a food allergy people! No vegan is going to die if they accidentally eat a bacon bit or a blue cheese crumble. I understand that some people have actual gluten allergies (i.e. celiac disease), but for the vast majority of “gluten-free” eaters, it’s just a preference. A few bread crumbs ain’t gonna kill them.
Get your priorities straight people. Let’s pay more attention to actual allergens and less to preferences. I feel like it’s just a matter of time before some vegan kills a kid with a hidden nut butter in one of their potluck recipes.
I went to my junior prom with my friend John, who was gay. He was a year older than me and we were good friends and I needed a date, so I asked him. I think I probably knew deep down that he was gay, but hoped he wasn’t. He was so cute!
Back in the early 80s, nobody was out in high school. I had lots of male friends from choir, marching band, church and plays who later came out as gay. Thinking back, John, Jonathan, Adam, Benji, Jamie and Tommy made high school way more fun. One thing they all had in common was their ability to talk to girls. There was no awkwardness. We had so much fun and so many laughs.
I remember going into Newbury Street (Boston’s fanciest shopping street) with John and pretending we were very rich kids (like the Trumps or the Hiltons) and acting like we were about to hop into all the high-end cars. Then we would use our pathetic fake IDs to get served frozen strawberry margaritas at TGI Friday’s. I remember sitting with Jamie & Adam at the local ice cream stand blasting Bruce Springsteen and singing along. Adam was an incredible singer and always got a lead role in the musicals. John was also a fantastic dancer. We had a ton of fun dancing to 80s pop hits. We all liked to dress up and go to screenings of the “Rocky Horror Picture Show” in Boston. We’d dance The Time Warp in front of the screen and throw toast at the appropriate line. Benji and I played a husband and wife (Mr. and Mrs. Squires) in The Music Man and we had a lot of fun with it. We named one of our diminutive fellow cast members “Billy” and pretended he was our son throughout the show. Billy Squires—get it? (It was an 80s thing.) Tommy was less flamboyant. He was from a large Catholic family and took church very seriously. He wanted to become a priest.
These guys were some of my best pals in high school, but there was a bit of a necessary separation after graduation. I’m sure their journeys to being who they really were wasn’t easy. Benji died in some sort of unexplained accident shortly after graduation and we all saw each other at his funeral. It was awful. Sadly, I heard that Jamie died of AIDS in the later 80s.
I reconnected with Jonathan at our 20th high school reunion and went to visit him in Chicago. I still see Adam and Tommy on Facebook and they are both married to wonderful men and doing well.
Fortunately, my romantic crush on John was short-lived. I think he tried to like me back, but it quickly became apparent that making out was just not working for us. I have no idea where he is now, but I do hope he’s alive and well and still dancing. God he was a good dancer.
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