I’ve posted before about my double name: Mary Sue. Sue is my mother’s name, so I like it. Most of us get our last names from our fathers (because patriarchy), so it’s nice to get your first and/or middle name from your mother, or your mother’s side of the family. We followed that tradition with our kids.
I kept my own last name when I got married (even though it’s much harder than my husband’s to pronounce and spell). This could’ve caused a fight about our kids’ last name, but it didn’t, because I’m a pragmatist and a feminist. 😉
Sometimes failure is just failure. The plays I didn’t get cast in, the rejection from my first-choice college, the math class I dropped because it was too hard, and the fellowship and jobs I didn’t get, are all examples of times I objectively failed.
People talk a lot about “grit and resilience,” usually in the context of blaming today’s parents for being too protective and helicopter-y. Well, failure forces you to build those qualities, even if your parents somehow messed-up.
What other choice do you have in the face of failure? You gotta keep going.
“Keep on Moving Forward” by Emma’s Revolution is my all-time favorite protest song. I think it inspires personal fortitude, as well as strength to keep fighting for a better world.
Gonna keep on moving forward Keep on moving forward Keep on moving forward Never turning back Never turning back
Gonna keep on moving proudly Gonna keep on singing loudly Gonna keep on loving boldly Gonna reach across our borders Gonna end the occupations Gonna stop these wars together Gonna keep on moving forward
Pat Humphries and Sandy O (Emma’s Revolution)
IT’S SUPER TUESDAY in the USA. Don’t waste your right to vote.
I’m assuming nobody wants to hear about how dependent I am on my phone, car and TV. I’m thinking favorite gadgets might be more interesting?
Per Merriam-Webster, a gadget is “an often small mechanical or electronic device with a practical use, but often thought of as a novelty.”
Based on that definition, my top three gadgets du jour are:
My Ember smart mug, which is pictured here. It keeps my coffee warm for a very long time. No need to nuke it* over and over again.
My Oxo citrus squeezer, which is pictured here. I bought it at Whole Foods. It’s the perfect size for juicing limes, specifically.
My Pure Enrichment tabletop humidifier. I like it because it also has a calming blue light. I bought it for $35 at CVS two years ago, kept the receipt, and the company sent me a new one this year when the original developed a slight crack. I like a company that stands behind its products.
*Nuke it means “microwave it” in the above context. My GenZ son thinks that my husband and I made this up and that nobody else in the whole wide world says “nuke it.” If you would kindly let me know whether or not you say “nuke it” when you mean “put it in the microwave oven” and (if comfortable) your approximate age and home country, I would be very grateful. (The results may be used to convince my son that I am not weird.)
Describe a phase in life that was difficult to say goodbye to.
There’s a phase of life that ends before true empty-nesterhood begins. It’s the “under one roof” phase.
As a young mother, it’s hard to get to sleep at night until all your kids are home in their beds. You want the whole family under one roof – safe. This gets more challenging as your children grow up. They’re out with friends and it gets late. They say they’re on the way, but what if something happens? Sleepovers, camp and other things sometimes require you to go to sleep with your kids NOT under your roof, but in those cases, I always made sure the ringer on both the landline and my cell phone were turned on high. If someone called, I wanted to hear it.
The “under one roof” phase inevitably ends and you just have to accept it. It’s very hard at first. What if they’re not safe? What if there’s an accident? Eventually, with practice, you can get to sleep having no idea where your offspring are.
As Hillary Clinton once said, “having a child is like deciding to let your heart forever walk around outside your body.” Letting go of the “under one roof” phase is just another step in the process.
If you could be someone else for a day, who would you be, and why?
I think this may be a GenX thing: a question like today’s prompt automatically makes you think of the movie “Freaky Friday” that came out in 1977 with Jodie Foster and Barbara Harris.
It’s about a girl and her mother who wake-up in each other’s bodies on Friday the 13th and have to live life as the other one for the day. (It was remade in 2003 with Lindsay Lohan and Jamie Lee Curtis.)
There’s something about the mother-daughter relationship that makes the premise of these films irresistible (to girls anyway). If only she got me.
When you’re young, nobody can bug you quite like your mother. It’s a special skill! But I assure you, nobody—and I mean nobody—is ever going to love you like she does.
At 58, I am very lucky to still have my mother (and father) with me on earth. I am just wrapping-up a nice visit with them in Florida.
Our first house was a somewhat dilapidated antique outside of Boston. It had a “city yard” – about a quarter acre of rutted dirt and weeds. My husband Mario transformed it into an adorable garden and play area, complete with extensive stonework, including a patio and stone wall.
I take credit for none of it. He lifted all those rocks and pavers himself. Italians are known for their wonderful stonework. I think he got that gene. He also got the Italian “green thumb” gene.
My daughter driving her car on the stone patio, 1997ish
About 5 years later, my son on the same patio with the stonewall behind him
The patio was the perfect size for toddlers and their large plastic toys. I could watch them from my kitchen window.
Our late cat Kimba the White Lion on the stone wall
My husband grew all of these vegetables himself in that tiny yard one summer.
My dear friend Susan made my 50th birthday special. (She makes every occasion special.) Not only did she help me plan a dinner in a restaurant, but she also invited my guests back to her home afterwards. She and her lovely daughter created thoughtful touches like chocolate covered strawberries, a sign, and birthday confetti. I really felt special!
And then, on top of that, Susan gave me my first Apple Watch. A very generous and EXCITING gift! It was June 2015 and Apple had just come out with watches that spring. I remember they seemed so weird and futuristic at the time. I really didn’t understand what they were or how they worked, but it was so cool to have one of my own! It was silver with a white sport band. I’m sure I never would’ve bought one for myself (or I would’ve taken many more years to try one).
It was a very exciting gift and I ended up loving Apple Watches. I’ve upgraded to new models several times. As I’ve mentioned, I’m a good candidate for digital health products. I’m motivated to “close my rings” daily and I like getting the colorful little “medals” for special challenges. I was thrilled when Apple came out with the waterproof version, so I could wear it in the pool and get “credit.”
So, not only was it a generous and thoughtful gift, but I truly believe it’s helped me stay healthy in my fifties.
Thanks Susan. I love you!
My 50th birthday sign in Susan’s apartment Special touches by Susan 💕
One thing that makes me feel patriotic is beautiful, sweeping American vistas. I have been known to break out singing “America, the Beautiful” in public. I think it should be our national anthem. The words are better than the “Star Spangled Banner.” And most people can sing it. It’s not as hard.
O beautiful for spacious skies, For amber waves of grain, For purple mountains majesties Above the fruited plain! America! America! God shed His grace on thee, And crown thy good with brotherhood From sea to shining sea!
I’m also a big fan of “This Land is your Land.” I can – and will – join in singing harmony whenever I hear it.
This land is your land, and this land is my land From California to the New York island, From the redwood forest to the Gulf Stream waters; This land was made for you and me.
Here’s the Woody Guthrie original version from 1940.
Other countries have spectacular scenery too, but ours is so vast and varied—from sea to shining sea.
🎵 🇺🇸 🎶
Maui, Hawaii, 1993San Francisco Bay, California, 2012Palm Springs, California, 2010The incredibly blue Lake Tahoe, California, 2012Moonrise, Lake Tahoe, California, 2012Great Sand Dunes National Park, Colorado, 2009Rocky Mountain National Park, Colorado, 2009The hallowed ground of Gettysburg National Park, Pennsylvania, 2017Taughannock Falls State Park, Trumansburg, New York, 2022Lake Cayuga, Ithaca, New York, 2021Saratoga Springs, New York, 2019The Green Mountains, Stowe, Vermont, 2014The White Mountains, Bartlett, New Hampshire, 2013The rocky coast of Maine, Kennebunkport, 2022Nantucket, Massachusetts, 2007Walden Pond, Concord, Massachusetts, 2023The beach border of Westport, Massachusetts and Little Compton, Rhode Island, 2006Newport Harbor, Rhode Island, 2023. This is the 1970 America’s Cup contender Heritage.Watch Hill, Westerly, Rhode Island, 2021The Outer Banks, North Carolina, 2003Myrtle Beach, South Carolina, 2009Delray Beach Florida, 2021Ft. Lauderdale, Florida, 2014The aquamarine Gulf of Mexico in Longboat Key, Florida, 2022
LAST ONE: the iconic Grand Canyon, Arizona, 2023. Pictures don’t really do it justice. There’s a quiet awe to the place that perhaps this video captures just a tiny bit.
If you made it to the end of this post, THANK YOU for looking at all my pics. I loved taking them.
When my parents were my age, they were new grandparents to my daughter. They only have two grandchildren and she was their first. They were thrilled to have a granddaughter and helped me out a lot. My mother would visit and babysit at least once a week. I was lucky that they lived within an hours drive.
Outside of being grandparents, they were big travelers. They went on many trips to countries around the world including China, Japan, Russia and all over Europe. I have some beautiful gifts from places they traveled to.
All families have issues (mine included), but I know I’ve been extremely privileged to have two responsible, caring parents who are still alive and well and married to each other! How many GenXers can say that? I know I got really lucky in the parent department.
They’ll be celebrating their 85th and 90th birthdays this summer, as well as their 62nd wedding anniversary.
Here we are on the beach in Florida five years ago. I’m looking forward to visiting them in Florida next week. It’ll be my first trip down to see them in their “snowbird” locale since the pandemic. I feel so lucky that I get another chance to make this trip.
The internet. It was like that movie title: everything, everywhere, all at once. It really changed everything.
I honestly can’t remember how we did certain things before the internet. Obviously we did them, but how?
Here are some recollections of how we did some things in the before times:
Airline tickets – no idea
Restaurant reservations – called the restaurant
Job opportunities – read the classifieds in the back of the newspaper
Real estate – dealt with human realtors
Banking – went to physical banks, which was always a challenge because of their limited hours; everyone ran to the bank at lunch (or left work early) on payday
Spelling and writing – used a physical dictionary and thesaurus, which came in various sizes. Most homes had at least one huge, heavy dictionary with all the words.
News – watched the nightly network news and read newspapers, which got ink on your fingers
Travel planning – went to the library or bookstore travel section
Shopping – wandered around the mall
Dating – met people at school, work or through friends
Concerts tickets – can’t really remember, but have a vague recollection of calling Ticketmaster – over and over – trying to get through
Learning anything new – got books at the library or took a class
Popular culture (trends, celebrities, fashion) – read magazines; magazines were huge
I was always very happy to receive my monthly Seventeen magazine, especially if Phoebe Cates was on the cover.
![A logo for "50 Happens," [a site dedicated to Gen X women with children and grandchildren] [who embrace life's challenges with humor and resilience], [featuring a modern and uplifting design] [that embodies strength and positivity] [with an elegant and playful style] [and a harmonious blend of colors like pink, fuchsia, purple, and blue].](https://50happens.blog/wp-content/uploads/2024/12/img-5uorrxvwartomopcpuhjfjd0.png?w=300)
50 Happens 