Gen X

La Dolce Vita

~ MaryG ~ 10 Comments
Daily writing prompt
What aspects of your cultural heritage are you most proud of or interested in?
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I’m half Italian. My father’s father emigrated from Italy, through Ellis Island, in 1905. He was 15 years old and arrived with $12. His occupation was listed as “peasant.” He worked on farms, taking care of boilers that heat the greenhouses. He became a US citizen in 1913 and was a successful farmer himself, although the state twice took his land by eminent domain to build highways. Sadly, he died young from what should have been a routine surgery, when my father was just six years old.

My grandmother carried on as best she could, but eventually lost the farm when all the young men went to fight in World War II (nobody was left to work on the farm). After that, she had factory jobs, but was able to raise her four children successfully, with two of them joining the Air Force, including my father who was then able to go to UMass Amherst on the GI Bill. He studied electrical engineering and eventually co-founded his own company with another engineer. They sold it in 1983 and I was able to go to a fancy private college on the proceeds, without incurring any debt at all.

So we went from “peasant” to “liberal arts major” in just two generations. I took all sorts of useless classes in college—poetry, drawing, art history, concert choir, etc. It was great. In my defense, I did take both economics and calculus my first semester, but dropped calculus because I didn’t think I could pass it and also be in the musical. Priorities, people.

One of my many fun classes was Italian. I took three semesters, one of them in Rome. What a beautiful language. I’m not much of a cook, so I’d have to say that the aspects of Italian culture I’m most interested in are the language, art history, and music. And by music, I mean opera, not that cheesy Italian pop.

My hardworking grandfather Giovanni in one of his greenhouses

Legend

~ MaryG ~ 11 Comments

What’s your all-time favorite album?

My husband and I recently cleaned out our attic and ended up selling both of our vinyl record collections to a local record dealer. It was sad, but they were getting warped in the attic and we don’t even have a turntable anymore. His albums were worth more than mine because he had a lot of obscure hardcore/punk and niche local bands. Mine were mostly pop, with some Broadway mixed in.

Fleetwood Mac’s Rumors and Carole King’s Tapestry were two that I really hated to give away, because I loved all the songs and the cover photos. But the album that I think I’ve listened to more than any other is Bob Marley Legend, which is basically a compilation of his greatest hits.

It came out in 1984 and was a college staple for me. Ten years later, we danced to “Is this Love” at our wedding reception and just recently listened to it for the umpteenth time on a short road trip. It has withstood the test of time!

So rise up this mornin’ and smile with the risin’ sun, cuz every little thing gonna be alright GenX. We’re good.

Addendum: My husband, who is a couple years older, would choose The Clash’s London Calling.

The eyes have it

~ MaryG ~ 7 Comments

What would your life be like without music?

I love music and always have. I took years of piano and voice lessons, sing in a choir, and work for a music school.

Due to some recent hearing loss on one side, I’ve been fearing this very thing. What if I couldn’t hear music anymore?

And also, somewhat relatedly, how in the heck did Beethoven compose his 9th Symphony, Missa Solemnis, and other major works after he went deaf??

It would be terrible to go deaf and no longer hear music. But if I had to make a Sophie’s Choice between my vision and my hearing, I’d choose my vision. I think I’ve internalized enough music at this point in my life that I’d still be able to hear it in my head—like Beethoven…just not as well. Obviously.

Poor Beethoven started going deaf at 28.

Music sets Christmas apart

~ MaryG ~ 7 Comments

How do you celebrate holidays?

Thanksgiving, Christmas, and Easter are the only holidays we reliably celebrate together as a family. Thanksgiving is food. Easter is church and food. Christmas is church, food, presents, and MUSIC.

Christmas music is special and I’ve always enjoyed it. When I was a kid, I liked learning carols on the piano and singing along. We actually went door-to-door Christmas caroling in my neighborhood a few times. I also liked the kitschy Christmas albums that pop stars would drop, especially the Carpenters’ Christmas Portrait.

In high school, our annual holiday concert was a beloved tradition. The highlight was the Hallelujah Chorus from Handel’s Messiah. Alumni were invited up on stage to sing it with the students. The Music Director, Mr. Phinney, was known to leave the podium and walk around behind the tenors to help them out on their big string of high notes.

I’ve performed Christmas music with many church, school, and community choirs over the years. In my current Unitarian Universalist (UU) church, we do a candlelight service on Christmas Eve. It concludes with everyone singing “Silent Night” in the darkened church as a real flame is passed from person to person. On the last verse, the piano drops out, many sing harmony, and everyone holds their lit candle high for the final “sleep in heavenly peace.” It’s a beautiful moment.

Me singing Christmas music with my high school Double Sextette, 1980s
Very old sheet music that I still keep handy in my piano bench

When you chuck the cookware too

~ MaryG ~ 7 Comments

Write about your most epic baking or cooking fail.

You know it’s a truly epic fail in the kitchen, when you not only have to throw out the food, but also the cookware.

I have a recollection of chucking a roasting pan, filled with burnt-on mess, into the garbage can. I cannot remember what I was trying to make, but it was clearly an epic fail. Perhaps I was angry with the pan and it could’ve been cleaned, but I deemed it unsalvageable at the time. Poor pan.

By the way, I successfully made The Silver Palate’s Chicken Marbella last night, with some assistance from my husband. (Chicken “quartering” was required.) This was my second attempt at this classic 80s dinner party entree.

The final result
Are you even GenX if you didn’t have a Silver Palate cookbook?

Life’s not fair, but justice is worth working for.

~ MaryG ~ 2 Comments

Share a lesson you wish you had learned earlier in life.

Kids think things should be fair. Siblings, especially, are always going to their parents with equity gripes. “She got more” “ You like him better” “Why does she get to stay up later than me?” “How come he gets the last doughnut?”

The sooner you accept that life’s not fair, the easier it is.

Many people are born with tremendous disadvantages—from physical disabilities to impoverished circumstances. Others have horrible bouts of bad luck—from getting hit by drunk drivers to graduating high school amidst a world war or global pandemic.

Not only should you try to appreciate what you do have (because it’s more than a lot of people and it could change at any moment), but you should waste as little time as possible expecting things to be fair. They are not.

However, I believe it’s a worthy (and honestly, patriotic) goal to try improve truly inequitable circumstances for people.

“Liberty and justice for all” is going to take some real effort from all of us in the coming year. Voting is the least you can do! Here’s an organization I work with to increase voter turnout: https://votefwd.org/. We send handwritten letters to people encouraging them to get to the polls. It’s easy and fun to do with other people in groups.

Vote Forward letter writing pool party in Hollis, NH, July 2022

Sweet tooth

~ MaryG ~ 4 Comments
Daily writing prompt
What are your favorite types of foods?
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I don’t enjoy cooking much, or even really eating. I’m not a big foodie. I didn’t cook at all until I became a mother, and then it suddenly felt like part of the job description. One day, after my husband was back at work and I was home all day with the baby, I remember thinking, “I should really cook something for dinner.” Going to the grocery store with a baby was an adventure all its own. It could take hours just to get out the door with the grocery list, car seat, and well-rested, pre-fed, happy baby, dressed in appropriate clothing for the weather. Picking out the items, while seeing all those people, could be a fun morning activity, if everything went smoothly.

Despite not caring all that much about dinner, I’ve always loved desserts and sweet foods in general. As a kid, I would always order french toast in a breakfast restaurant – never eggs. When I was pregnant, I craved baked goods and had lengthy dreams about cakes, pies, brownies, cookies, congo bars and other bakery items. I’d wake up and have apple pie or carrot cake for breakfast, if we had it.

Now that I’m an empty-nester, I’ve been trying to make something a bit interesting for dinner about once a week–something beyond our usual standbys (roast chicken, turkey meatloaf, pasta and meat sauce). I’m finding I still gravitate to the recipes with a sweet ingredient or two. I made the NYT Cooking’s Skillet Meatballs With Peaches, Basil and Lime (weird, but good) and this week I will be attempting (for the second time), the Silver Palate’s Chicken Marbella. It contains both prunes and brown sugar, thereby addressing my sweet tooth.

If ever there was a GenX/Baby Boomer crossover recipe, Chicken Marbella is it. Many people love it. I’ve had it and liked it. But the first time I tried it, something went horribly wrong with the oregano. Wish me luck.

My version of Skillet Meatballs With Peaches, Basil and Lime

Moms Decide

~ MaryG ~ Leave a comment

Do you see yourself as a leader?

I don’t see myself as a leader, as much as a decisive person. I can make a decision. I don’t waffle much, for better or worse.

I have no direct reports at work, but I’m a respected individual contributor. When my kids were growing up, I worked part-time as a consultant and developed a specific area of expertise, which is still my field.

GenX and older might remember when President George W. Bush famously said “I’m the decider” in 2006, when the press was questioning him on the wisdom of keeping Don Rumsfeld as Secretary of Defense.

Turns out it was a bad decision (in my opinion), but I borrowed W’s phrase many times in my life as a mom. It was my #1 answer to the never ending question: why do we have to go to swim practice? It was a nice alternative to the pre-Bush answer: “because I said so”

Swim meet, 2007

The Z Word

~ MaryG ~ 5 Comments
Daily writing prompt
What’s your favorite word?
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I am a church-goer, but not a Christian. For many years I have attended Unitarian Universalist (UU) churches in Massachusetts. Nearly every town has one. My #1 reason for going to church is to sing in the choir. My #2 reason is to hear a good sermon. I’ve been lucky to have some very smart ministers who consistently deliver thoughtful, interesting sermons.

My current minister opened the church year last Sunday (UU churches take summers off) talking about how she likes learning foreign words that have no real English equivalent. “Esperanza,” she said means both hope and waiting in Spanish. She said “expectancy” was the closest English equivalent.

That got me thinking about other words like that. In Italy, they say “prego” all the time. Sometimes they say it twice in a row – or even three times. It can mean anything from please, to what, to “after you.” On a trip to Italy in 2009, my family got a quadruple prego, which meant “hurry up and get on this bus NOW.”

There are a couple of German words that have made their way into English that I really like. One is “schadenfreude.” So fun to say. And I mean, let’s face it, Facebook basically required the adoption of “schadenfreude” into English. (Show me 67 pictures of your perfect family Thanksgiving and you’re setting yourself up for some schadenfreude. Sorry!) But the one I really love is ZEITGEIST. It’s SO fun to say and to think about. Something in the zeitgeist helped make Barbie the top-grossing movie of 2023. I wonder which new streaming shows will truly capture the zeitgeist of the 1980s?

My husband knows I like “zeitgeist” and texted me at work to let me know that Dana Bash had just used it on CNN. About what? Hunter Biden.

My family in Rome where we got a quadruple “prego”

Nothing Terrible Happens

~ MaryG ~ 1 Comment
Daily writing prompt
Describe your ideal week.
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At age 58, my ideal week is one in which nothing terrible happens.

Twenty-two years ago today, several thousand Americans, including 343 NYC firefighters, went to work thinking it would be a normal Tuesday and never made it home. That was a horrible week.

No school shootings, no terrible floods, no massive fires, no acts of terrorism, no insurrections, no friends or family diagnosed with cancer, no pandemics, no big news at all. That’s ideal.

If I can also manage to close all three Activity Rings on my Apple Watch every day, that’s a bonus.

This is the award you get from Apple Watch for a “Perfect Week“