High Drama

Oh. My. God. I have undergone the most incredible, emotional family drama over the past five days, I can’t even tell you!

Thankfully I have two awesome friends, a supportive husband, and two wonderful children, who helped me make it through to its dramatic conclusion today.

Someday, I will write a post about what happened, but not today.

Please send calming vibes my way. I need to get my heart rate back to normal and start sleeping and eating again.

Grief

The fact of that matter is that the personal situation I’ve been alluding to is very serious emotionally.

My boundary setting over the holidays has resulted in the ending of relationships that I thought were unbreakable.

I’m grieving people who are still alive. I’m very upset. I can’t move on quickly from this. And it comes at a challenging time with my husband still struggling with pain from his surgery. It feels like people chose to kick me when I was down.

It sucks.

Internet Wisdom

I’m not usually one to post internet wisdom, but given a recent event in my life, I went looking for some.

I liked this:

My blog is called “50 Happens” because I started it when I turned 50. Looking back at my posts, I see that one of my big realizations in my 50s was that all the little moments along the way are what actually matter. It’s about the journey, not the destination.

I’m lucky in that I’m not one of those women who has a hard time sticking up for herself. I can express myself, even if it leads to conflicts with others. I can be a bit righteous. I know that.

But now that I’m 60, I see clearly that time is limited. I’m truly not interested in any type of unnecessary drama. There’s too much real drama in life and in the world to contend with.

I believe I owe others:

Basic civility/politeness

Non-cruelty

Honesty about boundaries

I believe I deserve:

Happiness

Peace

Rough start

Sometimes when you set a boundary and choose to protect your peace, you learn that someone doesn’t care for you the way you thought they did.

This is hard.

To be honest, I was not expecting to be starting 2026 dealing with this particular type of grief/heartache, but here we are. Life is what happens while you’re busy making other plans.

Image from Pexels

12 Memories from 2025

OK, we’ve reached the last day of 2025. It was certainly not the year I had hoped for when I worked on the 2024 election. Let’s face it, a full year of Trump 2.0 has been devastating. Ain’t no way to sugarcoat that. And we’re only 25% done with the senile tangerine rapist’s second term.

But I’m going to look back on non-political memories of 2025 and post 12 photos (one from each month). I double-checked that these are all photos I haven’t previously posted. No more Ireland pics I promise!

January—We lit a fire in our fireplace and I made a truly top notch s’more.
February—a black and white butterfly in the Key West Nature Conservatory
March—a hauntingly beautiful self-portrait by Vincent Van Gogh at Boston’s Museum of Fine Arts. This one was painted around the time he was hospitalized for severe mental illness.
April—my driveway on April 12. This is the only major problem with Massachusetts…winter lasts forever.
May—a chilly and misty weekend in Portland, Maine with my dear friend Gail who turned 60 about a month before I did. Who knew cruise ships stopped in Portland?
June—For my birthday, my dear friend Susan took me on a “Karen Read” tour of our old hometown (Canton, MA), which was the epicenter of the Karen Read Murder Trial in 2025. Here she is in front of the infamous Waterfall Restaurant, where we had lunch. (IYKYK)
July—I went to a very elegant wedding in the Boston Public Library and my dress matched the library gates. It is hereafter known as “the wrought iron gate dress.”
August—my son, husband and me on a Boston Harbor cruise in late August. It was already getting chilly at night be then, but at least that meant I got to wear my new wool sweater from Ireland.
September—my granddaughter turned one that month. I love her and her wonderful mommy so much. 💕
October—Monthly flower arrangement from BloomsyBox
November—I went to a wonderful concert in Boston’s Symphony Hall with my dear friend Eileen who absolutely HATES to be in photographs. I’ve never seen anyone refuse to smile for a camera like Eileen. We had a great time up there in the second balcony.
December—We had the most wonderful Christmas with this darling girl.

Wishing everyone a Happy New Year’s Eve. Our plan is to go to the movies to see Wicked Part 2. I’m a Wicked fan, but we haven’t seen Part 2 yet due to The Knee. Hopefully this first foray back to the movies will go well.

Anything Goes Week

The week between Christmas and New Year’s is unlike any other.

No school. No work (or less work) for many. Hopefully all the shopping, wrapping and cooking paid off on Christmas and everyone had fun, but now is the time of no chores, no commitments, no challenges.

I told my husband it’s “anything goes” week. If he wants three Godiva chocolates for breakfast, that’s fine. If I want to wear my Comfy and slippers into a store, I will. (My slippers have hard bottoms, like real shoes 😉.)

My high school did the musical “Anything Goes” when I was in junior high in the late 70s, so I never got to be in it. But my friend’s older brother had one of the lead roles. We idolized those older kids and couldn’t wait to get to high school so we could be in the musical too. I still remember all the songs, especially the title song.

Here’s Sutton Foster in the Act 1 Finale of Anything Goes on Broadway. She got a Tony Award for her part in this production.

Quiet Saturday

Waiting for the plow guy to come and do our driveway, I’m trying not to be too antsy. Normally my husband snowblows the driveway, but not this year—the year of the knee. I cannot and will not operate a snowblower. I’m not that much of a feminist.

The word of this winter will have to be patience. That’s the only way we’re gonna get through it.

View from my kitchen window this morning

Baked Alaska

I wanted to make a special dessert for Christmas dinner so I decided to try a “Baked Alaska” which is something I’ve always wanted to do. It was a Bucket List dessert for me. I wasn’t even clear on exactly what’s in it, but I had a vague memory that it is delicious and special and involves flames. I think our next door neighbor growing up (Carolyn) made Baked Alaska for her big annual Christmas Eve parties. If my memory is right, Carolyn covered hers with actual flaming liquor as the final step. The internet has many examples of that step going horribly wrong, so I chose to follow my favorite baking website’s version of the recipe, which doesn’t include lighting alcohol on fire, but did urge me to purchase a kitchen torch so we could still experience some drama.

Sally’s Baked Alaska Recipe is a brownie base, with two 1.5 quart containers of any flavor ice cream (I used mint chip), covered with a toasted meringue dome. According to her recipe, if you don’t have a kitchen torch, you can bake the whole thing (ice cream and all) in a hot oven for a few minutes to toast the meringue.

I had a couple setbacks along the way. The first was that my 35-year old handheld electric mixer died during the ice cream beating step. It started to make a funny sound and then smoke started pouring out of it. I had to yank the plug out of the wall and dump the whole appliance in the trash. Fortunately, the ice cream was mostly creamy by then and I was able to finish up with a wooden spoon.

The disastrous part was that I hadn’t yet made the meringue. Have you ever tried to make meringue with ONLY a hand whisk? It took my husband and me one full hour of whisking to get the egg whites, sugar and cream of tartar to turn into “glossy meringue with stiff peaks” as directed. In the end, we prevailed, but I was really worried that our shoulders were going to be sore the next day on Christmas. (We were OK.) I was able to completely cover the ice cream dome with my stiff-enough meringue and popped the whole thing in the freezer for the next day.

The next obstacle was the kitchen torch that Sally recommended. I didn’t have one, so despite not being a fan of Billionaire Bezos, I had to order one from Amazon, with Christmas Eve delivery. And by George, Amazon did get it to me on time, but I hadn’t read the fine print about the fuel (butane) not being included. I arrived one minute after closing time at our friendly local hardware store. I wrapped on the glass hoping (and frankly, expecting) that they would unlock the front door and sell me some butane, but no dice.

I then drove to a hardware store in a nearby town and scored some butane. Phew!

The final product was delicious and dramatic, as I had hoped. Also, everyone took a turn toasting the meringue with the torch which was fun.

My one-year old granddaughter gave it a try (the Baked Alaska, not the torch) and seemed a bit startled by the flavor. I think maybe mint is a strange taste the very first time you have it. I might use plain vanilla instead of mint chip next time.

But hey, now that I own a kitchen torch, any damn thing could happen—even Crème Brûlée.

As Sally says in her recipe, if you make it a day ahead and freeze it, it takes a few minutes for the brownie base to warm-up enough for easy slicing.

From ChatGPT:

Baked Alaska originated in the 19th century, inspired by advances in insulation and refrigeration science. The dessert—ice cream and cake encased in meringue and briefly baked—demonstrated that whipped egg whites could insulate cold interiors from heat. It is commonly credited to French chef Charles Ranhofer of Delmonico’s Restaurant in New York, who popularized it in 1867 after the U.S. acquired Alaska. The name referenced Alaska’s cold climate, contrasting with the dessert’s hot exterior and frozen core.

Merry Christmas

OK, I’m back in a good mood now. I had a lovely Christmas Eve.

I felt profound gratitude for four things last night:

1) I have a good son. Mothers of good sons, you know what I mean! Last night my son drove me to church for choir practice and came back an hour later to sit with me during the service, which was especially meaningful as my husband couldn’t make it to church this year due to his knee surgery. My son offers his arm when we walk through icy parking lots together. ❤️

2) SINGING: I just love it. Especially on Christmas Eve at our beautiful candlelight service.

My church on Christmas Eve

3) My husband felt well enough to go out to dinner with us after church. It was his first time in a restaurant since his surgery a month ago.

4) A negative mammogram. Ladies, you know how good that feels. Even if you’ve never had breast cancer, we all have friends or family members who have had it. (I got my results on Christmas Eve at 10pm.)

And now we await the arrival of our “celebrity guest” (as my son is calling her)—my precious one-year old granddaughter and her parents.

My husband preparing his famous Lasagna Bolognese with an ice pack strapped to his new knee

Merry Christmas!

Enough

I fear my posts may be turning a bit negative this week, but I know that the holidays elicit mixed feelings for many. (In fact, my church offers a “Blue Christmas” service each year for that very reason.) What follows is a realization I came to in September but never posted. (It was in my drafts folder.) I offer it to all who may need to be a bit kinder to themselves this Christmas:

When you’ve given someone “the benefit of the doubt” for decades, it’s OK to say enough. I no longer wish to have a real relationship with this person, even if some level of communication must be maintained for practical reasons.

Trust can be eroded to the point of no return. You can be officially “done” with someone.

Perhaps you’ll actually be doing the person you’re done with a favor in the long run. If they know you will not be there for them on any type of regular basis, they may learn to take care of themselves.

And even if they don’t, it’s not your problem. Because you’re done.

Protect your peace.

Let go your guilt.