Thursday Doors—Boston’s North End

There are many beautiful old doors in Boston’s historic North End (aka the Italian neighborhood), but 160 Endicott Street is not one of them.

It’s an old, unrenovated building…
…in a great location in Boston’s North End—just around the corner from the original Pizzeria Regina

It is, however, a meaningful door in terms of my life story. I lived there in the early 1990s with my roommate Bridget, a friend from work. It was the last place I lived as a single woman. After that, I moved in with a boyfriend who I later married.

160 Endicott was truly a dump. It was the first floor apartment over a convenience store that I think was some type of front for a low-level gambling operation. Their most popular item was lottery tickets. They had a few dusty cans of soup and literally nothing else you would ever want to buy. The irony was the hand-carved sign, “If we don’t have it, you don’t need it.” They never had anything I needed. Not a tampon, not an Advil, nothing.

The apartment itself was totally unrenovated and smelled liked cats. The kitchen was horrible. The bathroom had cockroaches. The downstairs neighbors (who lived in an unfinished basement beneath the store) were always asking to borrow my car so they could drive to the dog racing track up north. But it was in a great location in the heart of old Boston and we could afford it on our art museum salaries, with absolutely no help from parents, which was my main objective in moving there. I really didn’t want to be beholden to my parents for anything. I needed some space from them and my troubled sister.

I took my kids back to visit in 2009. It looked much the same from the outside, but the store inside looked cleaner and nicer. New owners had taken over.

I didn’t ask to see the old apartment, but the green exterior bay window looked exactly the same. And the sign was still there:

“If we don’t have it, you don’t need it.”
That was the window of my “bedroom” which was actually the living room. I slept on a pullout sofa.
A return trip to 160 Endicott Street in 2009
In 2009, the humble exterior looked identical to how it looked in 1990.

The twenties are such a formative decade. So many forks in the road. Decisions made. Paths chosen. Roads not taken.

Memories of my time on Endicott Street include gaining a more visceral understanding of poverty (I thought our place was bad, until I saw how the people under the store were living); finally ending a longterm romantic relationship that had been going on and off for years; great authors—like Toni Morrison and Maya Angelou—introduced to me by my roommate Bridget (a reader and a feminist); and food smells—especially Bova’s bakery, open 24/7. Not much in Boston is open all night…but Bova’s is. There are better bakeries in Boston’s North End, but nothing smelled as good as Bova’s at 3am.

Posted for Dan’s Thursday Doors

Books I read in 2025

In 2011, I started keeping a list of books I’ve read in my phone’s notepad, so I could remember them.

Here is my list for 2025 in the order I read them:

Night Watch” by Jayne Anne Phillips (c2023)

The Last Train to Key West” by Chanel Cleeton (c2020)

Florida” by Lauren Groff (c2018)

The Frozen River” by Ariel Lawhon (c2023)

Intermezzo” by Sally Rooney (c2024)

Small Things Like These” by Claire Keegan (c2021)

Foster” by Claire Keegan (c2010)

James” by Percival Everett (c2024)

How to Lose Your Mother: A Daughter’s Memoir” by Molly Jong-Fast (c2025)

Savannah Blues” by Mary Kay Andrews (c2002)

The Director” by Daniel Kehlmann (c2025) 

Tom Lake” by Ann Patchett (c2023)

The Covenant of Water” by Abraham Verghese (c2023)

A Visit from the Goon Squad” by Jennifer Egan (c2010)

The Candy House” by Jennifer Egan  (c2022)

The Summer Before the War” by Helen Simonson (c2016)

Ordinary Human Failings” by Megan Nolan (c2024)

Heart the Lover” (c2025) by Lily King 

Many of these selections I read for my book group, which I absolutely love. We have such good discussions! Three of the four other women in my book club read way more than I do, so it’s sometimes hard to find something that none of them has read before. So this is how we choose our books:

We rotate the job of picking the book. When it’s your turn, you circulate three titles that interest you and the others rank them 1-3. Usually a clear winner emerges without much math needed.

Looking back on the list, I think Florida by Lauren Groff was my favorite. I’m not usually a short stories person, but this collection really blew me away. I read it before heading to Key West for the first time in February. If you’ve spent any amount of time in the Sunshine State, at least one of the characters will resonate with you. There’s a grain of truth in all the “Florida Man” jokes and memes (that’s why they’re funny) and this book goes deep into the truly fascinating and unique characters that seem to be made possible only in that flat, sticky, hot, beautiful, bizarre one-of-a-kind American state.

I read several books by contemporary Irish women authors this year (both before and after my big 60th birthday trip to Ireland in June). Sally Rooney, Claire Keegan, and Megan Nolan are all great. Several of their novels have been adapted for film and TV. I especially recommend “Ordinary Human Failings” by Megan Nolan. I’ve never read a more aptly titled book. Here’s the quote where she uses the exact words. It’s early on in the book.

On one of his first mornings a memo had been sent around from Edward to the desks of the entire editorial staff, which read:

A REMINDER! Reasonable excuses for lateness/missing meetings/not doing something I told you to do etc, include: Bereavement (parent only). Serious illness (life-threatening, your own). Reasonable excuses do NOT INCLUDE ordinary human failings such as hangovers, broken hearts, etc etc etc.

I think it’s the “etc etc etc” that makes this line so good. The story is all about the etceteras.

Bingeworthy

What are you watching and/or reading to escape paying attention to the fall of democracy?

My husband and I just started season 5 of “Poldark”—the period drama from Masterpiece. We were watching it in Passport (the PBS app), but Netflix just acquired it, so you can watch it there. Highly recommend (if you like period dramas). I’m a longtime Masterpiece lover, but somehow I missed Poldark when it originally aired. It takes place in the late 1700s, with the main character (Ross Poldark) having returned to Cornwall from Virginia, where he was fighting for the British in “the American War.”

Ross and Demelza Poldark will win you over as they gallop across the cliffs of Cornwall, which look very much like Ireland to me.

Also, we recently read “A Visit from the Goon Squad” (copyright 2010) by Jennifer Egan in my book group. It won the Pulitzer Prize for Fiction in 2011, but I had never read it. This genre-blurring book traces the lives of a GenX record-executive and his young assistant across decades of cultural change, interlocking thirteen short stories into a vivid mosaic of time, music, ambition and memory. I liked it so much, I read “the sequel” The Candy House, which came out in 2022. I can’t really explain it, but the term “sequel” is not particularly apt in this case. It’s more of a prequel & futuristic running out of the stories from Goon Squad. Highly recommend if you’re between 50 and 70 years old and find the zeitgeist interesting. Even if you simply enjoy saying the word zeitgeist, I think you will like these books.

Knowing me as you do (😉), please let me know if you have any other recommendations.

Related:

Bingeworthy, part 2

Downton Abbey Finale

With increasingly unhinged far right authoritarians running the show here in the US, it’s hard to stay calm. Due to the Kirk assassination, many people will no longer be able to speak their minds due to promised retaliation by the government. And I don’t just mean talk show hosts and journalists. Teachers, doctors, university leaders, nonprofit administrators and regular old corporate employees are losing their jobs over what they say.

Here’s Commander Waterford and Commander Putnam lying about left-leaning organizations promoting violence and telling us their grand plan for Gilead.

Therefore, if you are able, I recommend escaping to the great outdoors or, if it’s raining, the great indoors—a big-ass movie theater with reclining seats, Dolby Atmos sound, and a bar.

I thoroughly enjoyed the sold-out premiere of Downton Abbey: The Grand Finale. If you ever loved the show, you won’t want to miss the final installment set in 1930. Downton looks amazing on the big screen and your old favorite characters all make appearances, even the deceased ones. Not to give too much away, but acceptance of divorced women and gay people into polite society is a major theme.

You will be reminded that time marches on and progress has—and always will be—a matter of more inclusion, rather than less.

A first

I’ve mentioned (about 100 times) that I’m turning 60 this year. And so are all my friends from high school and college. We were all born in 1965–the first official year of GenX, which is usually labeled as people born from 1965 to 1980. Personally, I don’t really think 1980 belongs with us. I think GenX should be 1964-1979. We’ll take Michelle Obama and Kamala Harris (both born in 1964) and the millennials can have book-banning Ron DeSantis (born 1980), but I digress…

That’s right, the coolest generation is turning 60.

One of the coolest members of GenX—actor/writer Pamela Adlon (b. 1966)—sets her daughter straight in “Better Things”

Travel seems to be a top priority for people turning 60, but my friend Susan is doing something different for her birthday this weekend. She’s going on a silent retreat. This is a first. I’ve not heard of anyone else spending a weekend in silence for their milestone birthday. I like it though. It’s unexpected and exactly what she wants. Maybe she will have some sort of A-Ha moment that she will share with us when she gets back.

Cheryl Strayed (born in 1968) from her bestselling memoir “Wild: From Lost to Found on the Pacific Crest Trail.”

White Lotus Avoidance Day

My husband and I are major consumers of “prestige TV.” We get all the channels and watch all the shows. (Severance, Succession, Hacks, The Last of Us, The Bear, Handmaids Tale, etc.) We watch together and we talk about the shows. TV is our thing.

Sometimes a show is too violent for me, so I relinquish it to my husband to watch while I’m at choir or doing something else. (For example, I bailed on The Sopranos fairly early on and I never watched Breaking Bad.) I always have a few shows I’m watching on my own, because I stay up later than him. Currently, I’m watching Marie Antoinette on PBS Passport on my own. Downton Abbey is another example of a show that my husband didn’t watch with me, though he fully embraced The Gilded Age, so it’s not that he won’t watch period pieces. (We’re big fans of Wolf Hall.)

We plan our TV watching out in advance. Sometimes, a very important show—like last night’s White Lotus season 3 finale—needs to be watched live (rather than on demand) in order to avoid spoilers, which will undoubtedly be everywhere today!

We fully intended to watch the White Lotus season finale live last night, but then my husband got tired and wanted to save it. Obviously I wouldn’t watch it without him, so now I will spend the entire day trying not to read anything about it, which basically will require staying offline altogether.

So, as the stock market crashes (I’m assuming another Black Monday is underway) and people are distracting themselves by discussing whatever happened on White Lotus last night, I will try to finish reading my library book today.

Ironically, the book is Intermezzo by Sally Rooney (author of Normal People) and I could totally see it getting made into a Hulu series (like Normal People did) that I would end up watching on my own because my husband doesn’t like shows that are too “relationshipy.”

Comments closed due to abject fear of White Lotus spoilers.

Related: Consider the Source

Image from Pexels

Ireland planning 🇮🇪

As I prepare to turn sixty in 77 days, I am working on my Bucket List (things I want to do and places I want to see before I “kick the bucket”). I’ve always been one to keep a “to do” list (I like getting stuff done), but this one is fun. I started it shortly after my dear friend Carla unexpectedly got sick and passed away in 2022 at age 57.

I try to really think about places and experiences that call to me, not just rack up instagrammable, exotic locations. I have reasons for wanting to see these places. For the bigger trips, I try to keep the budget to $10,000 (or less) for the two of us for a full week. I know that’s a lot of money for a lot of folks, but believe me, I know people that spend a whole hell of a lot more than that on their luxury vacations. I would say we are “budget conscious” travelers, but I will splurge on special experiences like dinner in the Eiffel Tower or a helicopter ride over the Grand Canyon.

Here’s where my Bucket List stands now:

Grand Canyon ✅ (June 2023)

Paris ✅ (December 2023)

Finger Lakes & Hot Air Ballooning ✅ (May 2024)

Tanglewood ✅ (August 2024)

Yellowstone National Park ✅ (September 2024)

Northern Lights ✅ This wasn’t a planned trip, I just got lucky! (October 2024)

Key West ✅ (February 2025)

NEXT UP: Ireland ☘️

Is there any other foreign country that looms quite so large in the American psyche? I don’t think so!

Like millions of other Americans, I am a descendant of poor Irish immigrants. My great grandmother Mary Barry was from Dublin.

My mother’s father’s mother, Mary Barry, with six of her children, including my maternal grandfather Henry (far right). She was born in Dublin, Ireland in 1880 and died in Queens, NY in 1952. She immigrated to America, through Ellis Island, in 1903. She was 23 years old and arrived with three US dollars to her name.

This trip to Ireland will mark my first group tour experience. We’ve never been on a weeklong tour before. I usually book the hotels and do all the planning myself, but since it’s my birthday, I wanted to give myself a break and have someone else do the planning.

I looked at many types of tours (including on bikes and boats), but ultimately decided to try a Rick Steves tour. Good old Rick—PBS super nerd! I love his guidebooks and his travel philosophy in general. Plus, he is a well known weed-smoking liberal, so the chances of having any Trumpers in our group are slim.

So now, I need to start reading more about Ireland. I’ve already watched many of the recent TV shows and movies set there, including the excellent miniseries about The Troubles—Say Nothing.

Our tour is in the Republic of Ireland only, but I’m contemplating taking a trip up to Belfast (Northern Ireland, UK) at the end of the trip. We will be staying a few extra days in Dublin, where our son will join us, so I need to make some plans for that time.

Please send your Dublin recommendations and any advice you might have about planning a day trip to Belfast.

Also, books! What should I read to help truly understand the heart of this country and its people, from whom so many of us Americans descend?

I’m open to the classics, as well as modern fiction, historical fiction and nonfiction.

TYIA

☘️ 🇮🇪

Related posts:

Greetings from Ireland

More Ireland

I’m a Dubliner

Last Stop in Ireland

Food and Signs in Ireland

Thursday Doors—Dublin Unitarian Church

Deactivated

OK, I’ve deactivated my Facebook as a first step in trying not to care as much about the election. I’ve never done that before, but apparently it can be reactivated easily. I was just seeing way too many upsetting posts, particularly from feminist groups documenting the horrors that women in the Trump Abortion Ban States are enduring.

Also, I’m done reading The Washington Post. My husband reads it daily, so we won’t cancel it, but honestly, fuck Jeff Bezos. I’m so tired of these asshole white male billionaires and their outsized influence. And while I’m at it, fuck Joe Rogan too. Did you know that little shit is only 5’7”? I am taller than Joe Rogan. And of course, it goes without saying…FUCK ELON MUSK.

Aaaah, now that that’s off my chest…

Back to my efforts to not care about anything other than my own inner circle.

I have some fun things to look forward to:

-Luncheon today: I’m attending a ladies lunch this afternoon. (Actually, I think there’ll be one man there, but he’s cool.) The guests are all church friends of mine so there is absolutely no chance that any of them are Trumpers.

-Babysitting next weekend: My husband and I are going to babysit our adorable, perfect infant granddaughter for a few hours next weekend! I cannot wait to see that little angel again. I can already tell that having grandchildren is going to the absolute best part of being 60+.

-Book group meeting next week: I get to see one of my favorite groups of women. I am so fortunate to have this small group of book-loving friends with whom I can be completely open and always feel supported. (We are reading Solito by Javier Zamora this month and I need to finish it this weekend.)

Also, I had a realization that if Trump wins the election, I’m probably going to seek out a paid position (perhaps a part-time one). I’m going to need something else to focus on, other than the news and volunteering for lost causes. And I think I can still make some decent money in my field, which would mean more resources for the people I love.

I bought an octopus

I bought an octopus from a glass blowing artist. She’s just under a foot tall.

Marcella

I hadn’t been planning to buy an octopus, but then I read the book “Remarkably Bright Creatures” by Shelby Van Pelt, a novel about a grieving woman and a one-eyed Giant Pacific Octopus named Marcellus. After that, I visited a glass studio where the artist makes all types of sea creatures, waves, shells and other things. I was a bit confused why all his octopi had two eyes. It turns out I was not the only one left a bit confused about this by the book:

Octopuses and Accuracy

Anyway, I had picked out a large, glass conch shell. It was all packaged and ready to go, but then I saw an octopus I wanted more.

She wasn’t quite finished so I had to go back and get her later. I picked her up Sunday.

My octopus has two eyes and will be called Marcella.

Shane Dorey in his glass blowing studio

Related:

The Makers