My 80s friend

At Christmas dinner yesterday, my father told me he had run into my old friend Debbie at the fish market. They recognized each other and exchanged some quick pleasantries.

Debbie and I were neighborhood friends who ended up becoming close friends for many years. She knew my parents well and I knew her family too. Her dad was a great guy. We took several trips to California and Florida in our late teens and twenties. We did a fair number of edgy things together including lots of underage drinking, shoplifting, dine-n-dashing, and at least one crazy 80s Spring Break trip to Fort Lauderdale. (Wet t-shirt contest anyone?) Debbie was 18 months older than me (a year ahead of me in high school) and liked to party and dance. I’m sure my first nightclub experience was with her. Even though she was a true redhead, she loved the sun like I did and we went to the beach as often as possible. We went skiing a few times too and once spun out in my mother’s car driving in a snowstorm. We did a 180 and hit the guardrail. (Debbie was driving at the time and we were fine.) In fact, we wanted to carry on with our ski trip with one headlight dangling, but when we called my parents from a gas station, they made us come home.

Debbie and I stayed friends for many years through a variety of life experiences including her being severely burned in a freak accident. (I remember visiting her in Shriner’s Burn Center where I saw the most horrifically scarred young children.) We knew each other’s deepest, darkest secrets. We attended each other’s weddings and then drifted apart as we became mothers and got busy raising kids. Still, we sent Christmas cards and occasionally saw each other in person.

Then, at some point during the second Obama administration her right-leaning political posts on Facebook caused a tiff between us. We unfriended each other and that was that. Some years later, I felt badly about it, but figured she had probably morphed into a Trump supporter, so what would be the purpose of reaching out. We were too different by then.

You know that expression about some friends being for a reason, some for a season, and some for a lifetime? Well, at one point I might’ve thought we’d be friends for a lifetime, but it turns out we were friends for a season. And our season was the 1980s. Big time.

Christmas 1989 (towards the end of our close friendship)

If I had to pick one song that tends to trigger a Debbie memory, it would be Kool & the Gang’s Celebration. I picture us dancing around in front of a mirror, sipping some alcohol, while we made our hair as big & fluffy as possible for whatever came next.

11 thoughts on “My 80s friend

  1. This was a heartfelt post about a loss of friendship for the reason that is sadly common these days. I do agree with your statement about seasonal friends. They are for mutual learning and I always learned crucial lessons whenever I parted ways with my friends.

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    1. Thanks for reading & commenting Snejana. I think of the seasonal friends as being “fellow travelers” through some specific period of time. From shoulder pads to Dexatrim, Debbie and I did all the 80s things together.

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  2. Oh man. I was riding your nostalgia through the 80s. We all need a partner in crime through our shenanigans phase of life. Then I hit the wall with you as the bottom fell out. I’m sorry to hear about your friendship. To be so close at one point in your lives to have it end is sad. But I agree – some are friendships for a season. And what a season that was….

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  3. You two don’t look at all like you were up to such mischief! Haha

    I had a friend like this, but as with my mother the right wing stuff was just one component to why we couldn’t be close anymore. It must feel doubly unfair to have politics sour something great.

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    1. Haha, you’re right. Those were not our party clothes! I don’t think it was just politics for us either, but I think we may have maintained surface niceties, if not for that. We were already not close any longer.

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