In an alternate universe, I’m an amazing singer with perfect pitch. I perform as a backup vocalist with big name acts from the 80s (Elvis Costello, James Taylor, Peter Gabriel, etc.) and this has allowed me to travel the world in style—experiencing adoring crowds and first-class hotels with anonymity. (Nobody recognizes a backup singer when they’re out on the street!) I am paid extremely well for this work and I use my extra money to buy a beach house with an in-ground lap pool overlooking the ocean.