Your ability to say “no” gets better with age. Pleasing people (parents, teachers, bosses) seems so important when you’re young, especially to oldest daughters. Being “nice” is paramount, and nice people don’t say no. The older I get, the more free I feel to decline that invitation to travel with someone who irks me, join a potentially contentious or time-consuming church committee, or even take on a work assignment that’s outside my job descripton. I’d rather be kind than nice, if you know what I mean.